a photo a friend took of me over two years ago

hohum, i think it's always sad to see
how everything is so fast again and again.

it feels like this very situation was just yesterday.

oh well.

 

i am abit dissapointed and grumpy at the moment

that also explains the lack of posts

which i am sorry for.

 

but i don't have anything to tell or to show you anyway,

i guess.

finally it gets warmer 

and it even feels abit like spring today!

i am so relieved.

--

i've already told you from the nymphslake,

which is near my home,

didn't i?

and today, early in the morning

i did something incredible silly but absolutely amazing

i went there with my bike

idontknow

it was 6 am or something

and waited untill the sun was rising

and then i just jumped in

with all my clothing 

and i have no clue 

why i did there

but i felt so alive.

eventhough i am not sure

if that's a good thing.

there are only two days left untill the school starts again

and i am really not happy about that

but sadly i cannot change it

we didn't get the appartement 

so i am not going to show you pictures

because that would be a waste of time

but i am kind of sad about it

eventhough i don't want  to leave our house anyways

--

i've spend quite some time of my holidays 

with watching movies

most of the time with kathi, jacque, felix, alex or some other friends

because i love watching movies with someone else

but however

my favourite ones in this spring break were

'into the wild' and 'ginger & rosa'

the first one was absolutely amazing but sad 

and actually i think elle fanning

who played ginger in the second one

is the most beautiful girl i've ever seen!

so you should deifinitely take a look

if you want!

oh and by the way

no, i haven't studied at all for my exams next week :p

haha, but whatever will come

i am going to give my best 

and just hope that'll be enough!

"i’m trying to find something to base my life upon,

something in this strange world that goes on and on. 

as the years go by and time fades away, 

what used to be "good days" are now filled with dismay.
tomorrow comes, and then again, it goes,
and my ambition to become something more, grows and grows.
around the corner, yet miles away,
the life i want now, gets closer each day.
all i've ever wanted was something to live for,
i don’t want to be this little person anymore.
i’ve been basing my life upon what others think,
i wish I could go back and redo everything, every time an eye would blink.
i've fought to become who i am and what i want to be,
i have to remind myself that one day, i will be free.
free from the rules i followed as a child,
when everything was a game and life was so mild.
now times have changed and i realize nothing is fair,
and sometimes it seems like nobody even cares.
it’s like no one pays attention to what i feel is best for me,
and what i think about the way some things should be.
i understand now, that i’m pretty much on my own,
and i know a lot of what i can do will never be known.
all the time, i think about everything 

i can’t say, what i have to keep in,
and by doing this, my thoughts only get more complicated and deepen.
soon i hope to find out who i am, 

and what i am meant to become,
i want to know where i’m going, 

i don’t need to be reminded of where i came from."

♦

silly nonsense phone photos.

i apologize for the lack of great pictures recently

but i've been just too busy with schoolwork, friends and work

so i wasn't able to take some photos

but i'll do better

i promise!

--

yesterday was really great

my older brother's girlfriend, lucy came over aswell

and it was so lovely

to just spend a day with my family again!

ouh, and surprise surprise!

i got something for easter

eventhough i did not expect that at all

i'll show some photos tommorrow, lovely creepers!

sleep tight 

♣